Stressed out is an understatement.

I still have heard back from my two top colleges meanwhile everyone else has.

A friend’s liver is failing

I need to cut things off with him because he isn’t sympathetic and only makes me feel worse when I’m upset/mad.

my ex suddenly has popped back into my life and I’m unsure what to make of it.

My anxiety is creeping back again, along with my depression

Lastly, I’m trying to pull myself together and not let it show. 

It’s been awhile

A slight update:

My therapist (I really hate that word), Ben, asked me if I was okay with being treated like I wasn’t lady and just generally like shit by the boy I’ve been seeing since January. I told him the way he treats me isn’t ideal but I’ve come to terms with it. 

He told me, and so has everyone else that is close to me, that they think I should dump his ass (even though I’ve repetitively said our situation isn’t exclusive) and that they despise him in some way.

I’m trying to figure out what keeps me coming back to him. I think it’s his sense of humor and he always keeps me on my toes. We never run out of things to talk about and have millions of inside jokes. BUT he always avoids situations that require him to console me or to be serious. I can tell he’s scared. He’s graduating and knows I’m transferring so he doesn’t want things to get serious, but it’s kind of late for that. Whenever he’s around me and I’m chatting with other guys, he gets pretty intrusive and disrupts our conversation or tries to pull the guy away from me. 

Welp, soon I’ll have to figure things out, once the summertime comes.

These past few months have been the most tiring months of my life. I have been doing either school or work every single day and my most recent days off from both I was sick, of course. I feel consistently exhausted and worn down. I need a break. The thought of merely reading a book or having a day to pamper myself makes me yearn for it even more. Or even a day where I wouldn’t need to set an alarm would be nice.

Im kinda of mad at the moment.

Found out that I got screwed over and may spend spring break here, all alone.

Then, the guy I’m seeing is studying non-stop for his finals next week and is already shutting off a majority of his contact with me. And then after finals week he leaves to go to India (he’s on the indian national soccer team) for a week. So I essentially won’t see him for three weeks if I’m really unlucky. 

Fuck. Oh and I close 4-11 friday-sunday this weekend and the next. COOL